am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
that's an acceptable place to lick
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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