oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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