How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
