okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
