Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
