so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
