Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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