There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Randomize
