ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
