I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize