I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
