Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
