dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
