I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
