I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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