I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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