Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
