do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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