yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
