You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Everything about him screamed your future.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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