I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
