I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
