you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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