Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
