apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The adults are the big ones right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize