What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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