I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ladies don't puke and tell
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
