it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
