You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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