You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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