Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
