That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
