i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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