I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
