6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize