What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
