Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
