i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
