You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
