do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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