Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
