Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize