how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
