you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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