Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just high enough for therapy.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
