Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
