We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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