So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.â€
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
