Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
handjob tips. give me some.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
