I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
