dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.