too bad you live with your parents still
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
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The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats