so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
