The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
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It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
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I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".