the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize