Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
