I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
