whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You can't motorboat a personality
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
