You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
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It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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