So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You dont lie about slip and slides
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
