Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
