I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
