It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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