Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize