It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
