he thought i was a dude.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
