The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
