Have you finally orgasmed yet?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
